May 2012
skittleslovess:
That awkward moment when a cut scene was better then the whole finale
My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something…
Pluto is there.
The artist remembered Pluto.
Guys…
The artist drew Pluto crying.
animorphz:
if you don’t have anything nice to say then come sit next to me and we will make fun of people together
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
cosmo tip #249
expertcosmotips:
when hes having sex with you, shout out your own name instead of his.
thorhead:
mary had a little lamb
its heart was black as coal.
it crept into her room one night
and ate her fucking soul.
friend: how long does it take to get there?
me: about 5 songs
“Both Colfer and Murphy, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real...”
– Stephen King (via lazeaboutpotter)
i’m not even kidding when i say there is this statue on a square here that’s supposed to be santa claus with a christmas tree but everyone calls it the buttplug gnome
andwakesimagination:
If someone like Kurt Hummel can’t succeed in a fictional universe then LOL @ me.
glee.
luckyiminlovewithagron:
glee is about.. op- openining.. yourse.. yourself to..-
GOD BLESS.
altvagenda:
FINCHEL BREAK UP!
Watchvh1:
popculturebrain:
Watch fun. Cover “Call Me Maybe”
And you thought you couldn’t love this song anymore.
(via VARA, AP.net)
Love love love.
cosmo sex tip #666
when he’s least expecting it, carve a pentagram in his chest and begin summoning satan
Reblog if you think that David Tennant needs to...
riders-of-brohan:
“I’ve lost weight” I announced.
Everyone congratulated me.
But Weight was the name of my son.
vagrantinvenice:
magomuffin:
...
angelas party was good. would be the first time i remember the majority of it. which is good. preparing myself for sainthood after the events of the night. helping people while they were throwing up and then trying to sleep on me. fun times but usually its the other way around which makes a really interesting change. variety is the spice of life and all that.
chatterboxrose:
green-suspenders:
no but Blaine looks scared that it’s going to be slushie.
it’s ok baby!
he’s traumatized forever now!
oh bb blaine has been scarred forever
NOT THE FACE
NOT THE EYE
KURT HOLD ME
things i'm positive blaine anderson owns
lesblams:
ineedtogetpaid:
i thought LGBT was a sandwich
Clearly the arena’s just a giant version of The...
